Are you currently friends with a woman that you think is the one for you? Getting Out of the Friend Zone may appear to be a risky step. While you enjoy being her friend, you’d like to take it to the next level, but you don’t want to risk losing her friendship.
You Need to Determine if She’s Open to More by Looking at How She Responds to You
How to assess your risk level:
1. Low Risk:
- She never talks about other guys she likes
- She spends a lot of time with you alone
- You feel like you get to be totally yourself with her
- She tells you what makes her happy
- She shares her dreams
- She tells you what she needs and is clear about her boundaries
2. High Risk:
- She talks about other guys she likes
- She is disrespectful about things you really care about
- She does not appreciate when you do things for her
- She changes plans with you at the last minute
- She tries to set you up with other women
One of the problems with Getting Out of the Friend Zone is that your investment is now huge and your risk is greater. If you ask her out now the possible loss is much larger because she’s your friend. Most likely you’re attached to her and have invested a lot of time and energy in the friendship.
Getting Out of the Friend Zone; How To Change The Way She Sees You
1. Start Acting Like the Boyfriend if you start acting like the boyfriend rather than the friend she might start to see you differently.
How to do this?
- Open doors
- Make sure she gets home safe
- Put your hand on her back as you are walking through a doorway
- Pay for her coffee
- Compliment her, etc.
If you shift how you treat her she may shift how she sees you.
2. Stop Acting Like the Friend – this does not mean that you pull completely back from her, it is just a shift in how you are being with her.
How to do this?
- Do not talk about other women with her
- Stop hanging out with her and her girlfriends
- Don’t talk to her about guys she likes, etc.
These tips are worth trying if you really like this woman but they may not always work.
Young women have confessed to me that if a guy she was interested in waited too long to make a move she shifts him into the “Friend Zone” and can even think of him like a brother. I have to admit that I am guilty of doing this with guys in my past as well.
Should You Try Getting Out of the Friend Zone Even if the Signals Are Not Clear?
It’s really up to you but to decide after you have assessed the risk. But, if you don’t, you may lose even more time hoping she’ll be yours someday when the perfect woman for you might be just across the library. Don’t waste precious time. There are plenty of great matches for out there!
The Winning Formula for Getting Out of the Friend Zone
If you decide you’re going to make the move here’s my suggestion:
- Ask for a time to talk
- Tell her that you want to date her
- Ask her how she feels about it
You can say something like “I think you are amazing and I want to date you. How do you feel about that?”
Do you need some tips on how to stay out of the Friend Zone in the first place? Check out our post on “Staying out of the Friend Zone” for tips on when you first meet a woman you are interested in.
Send us your stories to the Victory Zone and your questions to the Drop Zone – we’re here to help.
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About Shelley Julienne
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